

After all, massive and impressive lists ranking almost all Stephen King movie and TV adaptations won’t write themselves. I find myself having to frequently place my daughter in front of the Kids section of Netflix. Since I work from home as a freelance writer, I’m often tasked with pulling double duty as Paste Magazine Listmaker Extraordinaire and Stay-at-Home Dad.

That’s where TV shows come in, since they provide the perfect excuse to glue our toddlers to the flat screen, sometimes for hours at a time.

Example: One day last week, we spent half an hour repeatedly counting how many cushions our couch has. I’m the father of a three-year-old girl, so unless I find a way to get her distracted by something for longer than five minutes, I have to forget about getting anything done since she requires constant attention regarding the most trivial of matters. Of course, this is an exaggerated take on how desperate parents can get when they need to do anything substantial while also tending to their toddlers. It should come as no surprise to parents of toddlers that he chooses to do his work and decides to have a talk with his daughter at some other time. On the other hand, laundry doesn’t get done for the third day in a row. To his chagrin, the show opens with, “This episode of Dora The Explorer will teach your child about how to make a pipe bomb and the dangers of race mixing.” What’s a parent to do? On one hand, your daughter might end up a white supremacist terrorist. In his latest stand-up special, Patton Oswalt has a hilariously bit that should be instantly relatable to parents of toddlers: He puts on Dora the Explorer for his daughter because he needs some uninterrupted time to get some work done.
